My ambivalent relationship with Eve Online

The other day I was reading through one of the gaming forums that I usually visit.

In the forum was a post about Eve Online, asking about peoples experiences with this game.

This prompted me to think about my complicated relationship that I have with Eve Online.

As a giant science fiction nut and lover of space ships with frigging lasers on them, I should be the obvious candidate for being a hardcore Eve Online player.

This makes my inner sci-fi geek scream "Yes! So cool. I must play this!"

Eve Online lets you explore a whole galaxy of possibilities, giving the player the possibilities to grow into a legendary space hero.

But it is also a complex experience that has no qualms about punishing your mistakes and will only hold your hand long enough for you to think "oh, this doesn't seem too bad", which is inevitably followed by horrible flaming vacuum infused death.

I have tried starting out on playing Eve Online probably 4-6 times over the years.

I watch all the great trailers that really makes the game look incredibly awesome, with big majestic capital ships engaged in dazzling exchanges of fire.

Or I read some articles about another political scandal that has occurred in a big corporation, where some guy has made off with billions of ISK or valuable blueprints.

And I think to myself; "Man, that sounds/looks so incredible. I *got* to be a part of that universe!".

This is followed by me getting a trial account and spending 5-6 hours spiraling down the depths of despair as I realize that I am in way *way* over my head.

Play Eve Online and you too can own a space station!
Probably not, though...

I don't know why I just can't learn from my previous experiences, but Eve Online just seems to always draw me back in and makes me forget my previous failures.

To this day I still think that *maybe* one day I'll start playing Eve Online and everything will just fall into place and I'll think "Aaaaah, I get it now!".

But until then, Eve Online is going to be my white space whale. 

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