Saints Row: The Third Impressions - Stupid fun in all the right ways

I had hoped to be able to get a full review of Saints Row: The Third ready for you this week, but unfortunately I’ve only been able to get about half way through the campaign so far. And with The Old Republic beta testing happening this weekend there is a snowballs chance in hell of me spending time on wrapping up the game.

But I have played more than enough to give you my initial impressions of Saints Row: The Third. 


Here’s a hint: It’s pretty crazy

Saints Row has always tried to be the crazy cousin to the Grand Theft Auto series. In Saints Row 2 for example, you were able to steal a sewage truck and spray the innocent citizens with the slushy contents.

That’s the kind of humor that you need to appreciate if you’re going to enjoy Saints Row: The Third. If a giant purple dildo mounted on a baseball bat makes you do the Picard Facepalm rather than chuckle with pubescent amusement, then you need not apply. The wacky and often below-the-belt humor of Saints Row: The Third is a big part of what makes it fun to play, so you got to roll with it or go back to something more somber like Batman: Arkham City (But why so serious?).

Even the logo is silly, with silhouettes of women and guns all over the place 

If you *do* enjoy the crazy humor in Saints Row: The Third however, then you are in for a great experience. So far I’ve skydived onto a penthouse apartment to the tunes of Kanye West’s “Power”, saved a pimp that speaks only in auto tuned sentences from a SM themed brothel and driven a convertible across town with a tiger in the passenger seat.

There is always another over the top sequence awaiting you and the sheer lunacy of the spectacles make up a large part of the enjoyment of playing Saints Row: The Third. 
You are always looking forward to seeing what stupid great thing that the next mission is going to bring. And most of the time you are going to be positively surprised.

As for the actual game mechanics they are mostly pretty standard GTA. The controls feel fairly tight and responsive and the gunplay is decent, though perhaps some kind of cover system would have been appreciated, even if it is not strictly with keeping to the “badass mofos” theme of the game. Weapons feel a bit on the weak side, with enemies soaking up quite a lot of bullets unless you go for head shots. I do like the grenades though, which can be put to good use blowing up cars and sending nearby baddies sprawling through the air.

As far as the driving goes, it is clear that Volition has decided that the more realistic, and consequently difficult to master, driving model of GTA IV was not something that they wanted to go with. Instead the vehicles in Saints Row: The Third are all quite easy to control. You’ll be zooming down the freeway in the wrong lane at maximum speed, weaving between oncoming traffic with relative ease. Cars have very little tendency to skid out of control and can stop extremely quickly, should you need to make an emergency stop. There’s also a handy handbrake button that lets you powerslide like a pro, with a degree of control that completely bends the laws of physics.

What this means is that driving in Saints Row: The Third lets you focus completely on what you want to do and not how you can do it. Want to go from 100 miles an hour into a 90 degree turn while your buddy fires a submachine gun out the passenger window? No problem. In GTA IV you would constantly be wrestling with driving the car itself if you wanted to do that as it veered and bucked like a wild beast (you know, like a real car would it you tried an insane maneuver like that).

Whether you prefer the realism of GTA or the ease of Saints Row: The Third is a matter of opinion, but it certainly ensures that the handling of the cars doesn’t get in the way of your fun.

Scantily clad women and plenty of weapons are a main stay of Saints Row: The Third

There’s also a nifty upgrade system in play in Saints Row: The Third. As you complete missions you’ll gain “respect” and level up, which unlocks new upgrades for you to buy. There is a large variety of these, ranging from health upgrades, upgrading your gang members or increasing ammo capacity.

Besides the upgrades you can also spend your cash on some new threads. Clothing shops have a wide variety of styles available to you, which ensures that you can find just the right look for you (or just the right wrong look, like a nice revealing black dress on your obese bald male protagonist). If fashion isn’t your thing, then you can also customize the vehicles in the game or upgrade your weapons that provides extra ammo, more damage or exploding bullets.

All these options means that there is a constant need for money, and so far it seems that Saints Row: The Third strikes a nice balance between handing out enough cash that you feel like you’re getting rich, but also offering you continuously more expensive options to spend aforementioned cash on.

I’m looking forward to spending more time with Saints Row: The Third. It is probably not the most well crafted game of the quarter, but all the stupid crazy crap that is constantly happening nevertheless makes it one of the games that I’ve had the most fun with. Saints Row: The Third is simply dumb and insane in all the right ways.



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